30-Day Love Challenge: Be Extra in Your Relationship
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A 30-day love challenge is one small act of love for your partner every day for a month. It works for couples in any season, whether you are newly together or decades in. Most days take five minutes or less, and a few are date nights. All 30 days are below, plus how to love your partner by their Human Design type.
Jump to: Days 1 to 10 | Days 11 to 20 | Days 21 to 30 | Love by Human Design Type | FAQ
Editor’s Note to the 30-Day Love Challenge | Updated November 2026
Since first sharing this Love Challenge, my work and understanding of love have evolved in the most beautiful ways.
What do I know now?
Every one of us is built to give and receive love in our own way. When you understand how you and your partner are designed, love gets easier to give and easier to receive.
So as you move through this 30-Day Love Challenge, think of it as more than just a relationship reset. It’s an invitation, a chance to nurture connection, compassion, and the kind of self-love that shows up from the inside out.
One of the hardest parts about writing my first book, The Big Book of 30-Day Fitness Challenges, was seeing chapters and, in my case, whole challenges being cut. It was brutal. Friends, tears were shed.
This 30-day love challenge I created is close to my heart, and it was tough not to see it make it to the final cut.
I felt like the world still needed to see this. Thankfully, I own my own website, which allows me to easily be able to share with you!!
My husband and I have been married for just shy of 25 years. Over the years, there have been times when our marriage was super strong, and there were times when we struggled, and I questioned if we would last. I want to say that (and I am pretty sure Mr. Thueson would agree) the vast majority of those 25 years have been good.
I designed this 30-Day Love Challenge to help you connect and strengthen your relationship. Whether you’re in a new relationship or have been together for a while, the idea is to sprinkle a little “something extra” on your love. Every couple loves a little differently. At the end, I’ll show you how to find yours.
The 30-Day Love Challenge, Day by Day
Day 1: Send a grateful text
Send your spouse a text saying thank you for something. I understand that this may be hard if you are in a place where you are struggling. But try and see your spouse from a place of gratitude!
Day 2: Serve Them
Their chore is taking out the trash. Do the chore for them. Find a small way you can do something to make their day easier.
Day 3: Leave a Note
Leave a little love note with their work stuff, on their bathroom mirror, in a book they’re reading, just somewhere you know they will find it during the day.
Day 4: Call Them Unexpectedly
It’s so funny when I call my husband at work during the day because it always surprises him. Do not make it an “agenda” call to say hello and tell them you love them.
Day 5: Give a Gift
Surprise them with a little gift for no reason. It’s a beautiful way to show you care. It can be as simple as a pack of their favorite gum.
Day 6: Let It Go
If your spouse does something that bugs you today, choose to let go. Will it matter in 5 years that your spouse left the cabinet open while cooking? Or that they spaced taking out the trash? Let it go today and focus on what you love about them…
Day 7: Send them a Quote
I am a collector of quotes, and many great ones can sum up how you feel. Find one on Pinterest and text it to your spouse.
Day 8: Surprise Lunch Date
This may take a little creativity if you have young kids at home. Maybe you can meet at a park and let the kids play while you enjoy each other’s company.
Day 9: Dress Up For Them
Because I’m a work-from-home mom, it’s REALLY easy for me to live in my sweatpants and skip the makeup most days. But I like to doll myself up every so often to remind my husband that he has a hot wife at home.
Day 10: Send a sexy text
Your partner wants to know they are still wanted and desired, so send a text letting them know they are on your mind.
Every one of us is wired for connection in a totally unique way.
Want to know how your partner is wired to receive love? Keep going. Right after Day 30, I’ll show you how to love them by their Human Design type.
Day 11: Initiate Intimacy
Take the reins for a change and let your partner know how much you still desire them.
Day 12: Back Massage
Everyone loves a back massage, right?
Day 13: Play a Game Together
Find a game you both enjoy and play! It’s so important to continue to play and have fun together.
Day 14: Go For a Walk Together
Not only will you both get in some extra exercise, but it’s also a great time to talk and reconnect.
Day 15: Breakfast in Bed
Breakfast in Bed is a nice treat for your special someone.
Day 16: Try Something New
Whether you try a painting class, ziplining, rollerblading, karaoke, or tennis – get out there and try something new together!
Day 17: Send a Song
Send them a song that says it all. There is so much good music out there!
Day 18: 10 Things I Love About You
Write out ten things you love about your spouse and give them to them.
Day 19: Cook Their Favorite Meal
Cook or order in your spouse’s favorite meal.
Day 20: Date Night
Try your best to recreate your first date.
Day 21: Laugh Together
Share your favorite YouTube or video clips that you love.
Day 22: Compliment Them All Day
Compliment your spouse several times today.
Day 23: Have a “Dream” Date
Sit down and talk about your dreams for the future together.
Day 24: Make Out
When was the last time you just made out with your spouse?
Day 25: Send a Cute Selfie
Send a cute selfie to your spouse. Bonus points if it is scandalous
Day 26: Write a Love Letter
Write your spouse a love letter.
Day 27: Shopping Trip
Pick out something you know they’d look great in.
Day 28: Do Something They Love
Do something you know in your heart they would LOVE. I know my husband loves it when I vacuum out the car. You know your spouse best, so do something you’re certain matters to them.
Day 29: Buy a Card
Cards aren’t just for holidays. Find a card that expresses how you feel and surprise your spouse. Throw in some “sexy coupons” to be even more “extra.”
Day 30: Reflect and Keep Going
Reflect on this challenge and write a letter expressing how you have felt serving your spouse these last 30 days. Think of ways that worked for you to express love and pick a few to continue after the challenge is over.
Have fun with this! There is no need to follow the exact order. If you’re not ready to tackle some of these right away, start with the others and work your way up to the more “gutsy” ones.
The most important part of this 30-Day Love Challenge is showing love, which looks different for everyone. Think about how your partner loves to be loved and make sure those are in the mix!
Bonus: How to Love by Human Design Type
Want to up your 30-Day Love Challenge even more? Knowing your partner’s Human Design type helps you better understand how they are wired and how they love to be loved. Don’t know their Human Design type, no sweat, I’ve got you. Just head HERE, run their free chart, and find out how your partner loves to be loved based on their Human Design type.
Generators:
Love them by letting their joy lead. When something lights them up, it’s their soul saying yes. Celebrate those sparks, and never shrink what excites them. Honor their “no’s” just as much as their “yes’s,” and trust that when they’re lit up, their love radiates to everyone around them. The greatest gift you can give them is freedom, space to follow what feels good without guilt or expectation.
Manifesting Generators:
Love their spark and their speed. MGs are meant to pivot, explore, and chase what excites them, even if it changes daily. They thrive on movement and variety, so don’t box them in or take their multitasking as a distraction. Celebrate their creative chaos and give them permission to shift gears without judgment. The greatest gift you can give them is freedom to follow their curiosity and interests.
Projectors:
See them, truly see them. Recognition and genuine invitations are their love language. Think “words of affirmation.” They thrive when they feel welcomed, invited, and valued.
Projectors need space to rest, reflect, and be, not constant doing. Shower them with your attention and admiration. The greatest gift you can give them is to feel deeply seen.
Manifestors:
Love them by letting them lead. They are powerful and independent; they’re here to initiate, not to ask for permission. Give them room to follow their impulses and visions, and honor their need for solitude when they pull back. What they crave most is trust, trust in their process, their timing, and their way. The greatest gift you can give them is the feeling of safety to move freely.
Reflectors:
Love them through presence and patience. Reflectors are emotional mirrors, deeply attuned to their environment and the people and places around them. They need consistency, calm, and spaciousness not pressure to decide or perform. Support them by creating environments that feel nurturing and safe, and honor their need for time to process. Providing safety and space for them to take their time and live according to their unique flow is life-giving to them.
Love by Design:
Ultimately, every type loves deeply when they are living by their design. When you know how you are built, love stops feeling like work; it becomes a natural extension of who you are.
Love, at its best, is simply being fully yourself and allowing others to do the same.
When you understand how someone is designed to give and receive love, you create space for connection that’s not only deeper but divinely natural.
A healthy, strong, and sensual relationship is essential for happiness and living your BEST life. When the love/relationships sector of your life is broken, other key areas also fall out of place. So please take the time to make your relationship a priority! Spice is IMPORTANT. Check out some of our favorites and make this 30-Day Love Challenge the spiciest 30 days!
Psst… To help you up your romance, Kelly and I added some of our favorite “spicy” items to an Amazon store, where you can discreetly have things delivered right to your door! It’s time to have fun and embrace this part of your relationship! -One of our favorite items tabs chocolate (These will heighten everything in the bedroom, we buy them in bulk, just saying) I am excited to announce we have partnered up to give you a 20% off discount code! – a much better deal than Amazon! Use code LOVE627809 at checkout to save!
xo, Andie
Love a Good Couple’s Challenge? Try a Couple of My Others
30-Day Love Challenge FAQ
What is a 30-day love challenge?
It is one small, intentional act of love for your partner every day for 30 days. Think a grateful text, a love note, a back massage, or a date night. The point is to make your relationship a daily priority again.
How do I start a 30-day love challenge?
Start with Day 1 today. Send your partner a text thanking them for something specific. You do not need to tell them you are doing a challenge, and you can print or save this list to keep track.
Does a love challenge work for long marriages?
Yes. My husband and I have been married for over two decades, and small, consistent gestures are what keep us close. Long marriages often get the most out of it, because daily life makes it easy to stop trying.
What if my partner does not want to do it?
You can do it on your own. This challenge is about how you show up, not about keeping score. Many couples find their partner starts returning the effort without being asked.
Do I have to do the days in order?
No. Skip around, repeat the ones that land, and save the more gutsy days for when you feel ready. The goal is showing love in the ways your partner loves to receive it.
Just remember to have fun and embrace this part of your life. Good luck with your 30-Day Love Challenge!
P.S. Curious how you are built to love? My Soul Blueprint Reading is a personal astrology report that shows how you give and receive love, and so much more.
Most women were never shown how to read it. Your natal chart is a snapshot of the sky at the exact moment you arrived. Not a horoscope. Your actual map. Run yours free, and I will send you a plain-language guide to reading it. Run My Free Chart Free. About 60 seconds. Your chart renders on the page and downloads as a PDF.
“You are not behind. You are on a different clock, and that clock is correct.”Andie Thueson
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